The spirit of Christmas means. . .
Time with family and friends. My favorite movies – “A Christmas Carol” and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” A time for family recipes (ambrosia, cookies) and vintage decorations. A Christmas Eve service with its carols and message. A time to sit by the tree and squeeze-shake-rattle those presents.
But this year, many of us feel a sense of malaise that stems from a concern for our families and friends, communities and allies. Furthermore, underlying that joy of giving is that niggling question as to whether our gifts are appropriate for the recipient and whether we have forgotten anyone.
For years our family has tried to avoid the commercialization of Christmas to maintain the spirit of the holiday.
In 1972, we were saving for a two-month European trip, using Frommer’s Europe on $5 A Day to estimate a budget. We decided to try a $5 Christmas, which meant we had to make gifts.
“I made you a papier mache flower mobile. . . And maybe a clay lantern. I painted Dad the piece of wood with his coat of arms, so to speak,” my sister told me yesterday, recalling our first $5-dollar Christmas.
As an artist, she had a distinct advantage. I have little recollection of my gifts. But we abandoned the $5-dollar Christmas soon after.
Gift-giving traditions date from Antiquity. Anthropologists like Marcel Mauss have described the gift exchange as a means of initiating, maintaining and reinforcing social networks—ties with family and friends, the community and elite. Our ancestors must have experienced a similar anxiety!
Mauss and social historians have written about the tacit conventions of the gift exchange—obligation and reciprocity and the selection of an appropriate gift, which could be a dedication of a discovery or book as well as a rare animal. In fact, in earlier times, gift-giving served as a strategy not only to maintain relationships but to seek political favor.
I’ll end with a quote from a contemporary anthropologist, who puts the Mauss' concept of gift-giving into a contemporary context:
Chris Colwell has written, "[H]is explanations of gifts suggest that the more meaningful and personal the present, the greater the respect and honor being shown. A truly thoughtful gift . . . or a personalized experience. . . might even be more valued than an expensive item mass-produced on the other side of the world, shipped across oceans and packaged in plastic.” (Colwell).
# # #
NOTE - Reduce expenditures and maintain the Christmas Spirit
Here are some of our cost-saving ideas for gifts.
- Used books are a popular option. Friends of the Library often has the best price
- Hand painted ornaments
- Plant cuttings (begonias, rosemary) in hand-painted pots
- Lessons – in the arts or cooking
Even small kids can participate. My kids made up booklets of coupons, which could be redeemed for dish washing, pet sitting and cleaning.
Works Cited
Colwell, Chip. “What’s The Point of Giving Gifts? An Anthropologist Explains This Ancient Part of Being Human.” The Conversation. 12 December 2023. https://theconversation.com/whats-the-point-of-giving-gifts-an-anthropologist-explains-this-ancient-part-of-being-human-219468. Accessed 13 December 2025.
Mauss, Marcel. The Gift: The Form and Reason for Exchange in Archaic Societies. (originally published in 1925, Le Don, translated into English in 1954). Routledge, 1990.



















